16 August 2007

Words Once Spoken Cannot be Retrieved

As human beings, who interact with each other, it is almost impossible to escape from disagreements. All of us are different in many ways, we have our own way of thinking that makes us see things differently that at some point in our lives, our thoughts and opinions would clash with somebody else's, which may eventually lead us to argument that we don't seek, and we often try our best to win the argument at all costs.

When I was young, as a youth, it was hard to control my emotion. I used to get myself into argument every time when I was engaged in dialogues that lead to disagreements. I would try my very best to beat my "opponents", especially when it was crystal clear that my thoughts are valid. An argument would usually start as a calm discussion, and when both parties refused to give in, the discussion would turn a bit warmer. Even though, at the beginning, I would not be thinking about getting too serious into the argument, but at one point, it would be too late to say "no" to the bad side of my emotion, which would start to take charge, and the argument would become hotter and hotter. My pride and ego would cheer me up and there would be no turning back.

Unfortunately, in my eagerness to win, sometimes I would utter unpleasant words, which would hit deep in the heart of the "opponents". It would act like a weapon of mass destruction used when the war of disagreements was taking too long to end. Eventually, nothing which could be proud of, would be achieved by both parties, except for regrets, frustrations and wounded hearts.

The after effect would be very unpleasant. Having the episode repeating in my mind while I sank deep into regret, was very painful. Why did I go to such extent? Why did I get myself into the argument in the first place. A word of sorry might never be able to repair a wounded relationship. Words once spoken cannot be retrieved, they disappear with the time they were said.

When I left those youth age, I changed a lot. I started to avoid getting into argument, unless when it is really necessary, when it benefits me or the person who argues with me. Even if I have to argue, I always make sure that I'm always in control over my emotion and let the argument be and ends in a civil manner. I'm more careful in putting my words. If I sense that my emotion has started to take over, I will choose to walk away from the argument politely. I don't care of loosing the battle without firing a single shot, as in actual fact, I've got nothing to loose. In fact, I've actually won a battle within myself, which is more important to me.

It is absolutely alright to speak out our mind and express dissatisfaction or anger but we must always try to do it in awareness and without loosing our temper, don't be carried away by emotion.

Words are so powerful. They can be so beautiful and helpful, but they can also be harsh and harmful. We are blessed with tongues that speak words. It could be words of love, praise, kindness, forgiveness and encouragement, and it could also be words full of hatred, disrespect and slander.

Words can weave together a broken relationship, but words can also create waves that separate two people. Words can heal a broken heart, but words can also hurt feelings. Words can transmit a wealth of information but words can also be deceiving. Words can praise a person but words can also assassinate a character. Words can bring peace and joy, but words can also set a blazing fire to harmony.

And all these words shall serve as an advice to myself first.


  1. And all these words shall serve as an advice to myself first.

    Beautiful conclusion...

    I used to take arguments very seriously, Not personal ones, but politics, society related ones.

    I find it harder to argue now because I don't see the black or white or each side. I think grey... I know I'm not 100% right but I know I'm not 100% wrong either...

  2. Such is life, we gain wisdom through experiences, well some do, we learn to bite our tongues, choose our words more wisely, as you get older you look at the big picture and see what is really important. Wise post.

  3. So true. We need to stop and think before we say any unpleasant words that we'll likely regret later.

  4. Hi Zunnur! Thanks for your nice message. Words can really hurt as well as the lack of them...sheer silence can be as bad as many harmful words...it is so important to control oneself...I try to remember as well that what goes around comes around so I have always believed that if I say something bad about someone that will eventually be known and will speak badly of myself for having said a bad thing...Thanks again for your message. Great post!

  5. Zunnur, I personally like this post very much ^_^

    THROUGH words we could BUILD UP someone. THROUGH words we could pretty much DESTROY someone.

    Need to remind myself THE POWER of words.

    Have a good weekend my friend! ^_^

    18/8/07 1:27 PM

  6. Words... yes. So often they are blurted out with no thought at all of the effect they might have. Thanks for the reminder.

  7. nice post about words. it's ironic that when we blog words are our medium to communicate, but it's different when written and when it's spoken.

    words tend to come alive when you utter them with your lips, it gives more volume, so to speak.

    God bless! thank you for a nice post.

  8. Zhu,
    I agree that arguments are essential for a counterbalance, otherwise, we would be opressed, but we must be careful not to be overcome by emotion.
    I guess, you must have mixed the black and white to end up with grey :-)

    We're lucky to have been taking things seriously as we grow older and learned through our experiences, as there are people who never want to learn and improve.

    In fact, to think for a moment before we do anything is equally worthwhile.

    La delirante,
    I agree, "sheer silence can be as bad as many harmful words" and I like that phrase very much.

    Words can do so much good, and so much damage as well.

    Two feathers,
    When emotion takes control, we would fail to think before we speak.

    When we write, we have more time to think and more chances to erase the harmful words before we present it.

    To all of you,
    Thank you very much for your comments and kind words, I appreciate them very much.
    I'm impressed with your words and I agree to your thoughts.

  9. I also believe that words are the door to our world. If you always say, "I have a horrible life" you will; if you say, "I'm stupid" you will live a life of a stupid person, etc. Not prolific, but I thought I'd throw my two cents in.

  10. hi Zunnur, thanks for your blog. very nice and very true.


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