01 April 2009

A conversation so unpleasant

I failed to avoid him. A few excuses I gave didn't work so I had to join him for lunch. It would have reflected bad on me if I were to turn down an invitation from a very good friend during the good old school days.

Although we met after many years, the twice short coversations I had with him earlier this week were displeasing that I wished I could stay away from him.

It was lunch time and our conversation started off nice and calm. We shared a little bit of each other's life and about the lives of our other batchmates. However, as I had expected, the conversation eventually worked its way into topics which were quite unpleasant.

My friend started to speak about all of his achievements and great experiences during the past few years. The way he talked made it so obvious that he desperately needed to portray his betterness. I thought that to say out my attainments likewise in this situation would be an insult to my intelligence thus I let him spoke out his exaggerated sense of self-conceit without hurdles.

Failing to raise my jealousy, the conversation moved deeper into vanity where he started to attack my character. He used his irritating words to make fun of my previous achievements with the company and potrayed me as a loser.

Hoping that the conversation would end soon and his hunger for pride would be satisfied, I continued to pretend that I was listening attentively to what he was saying and showed respect for the little things that he was so proud of.

Lunch hour was almost over and with great relieve, I politely ended the conversation. As I stood up from the table and looked at his face, from his eyes, I noticed that his enormous ego was not satisfied. Something deep inside him was longing for some more.

Some people have excessive pride in them. They are so full of themselves and they shut out everyone else with their excessive sense of narcissism. Although I ignored his words, I can't help but to feel a little hurt with the things I reasonably wished had been left unsaid that afternoon.


  1. Zunnar...so good to "hear" your words again..but not good to hear this story.

    In any case, you did the right thing, even though it hurt. I don't know why the high road is so hard to navigate.

    You said it perfectly when you said he didn't look "satisfied" when he left...i assume it is because you didn't engage with him in his head game.

    Little people tear down others so they feel "big." bravo for keeping him small.

    I missed you!!!!!

  2. It's nice to see you have a new post.

    This one is interesting- It's as if I was reading fiction.

    Keep on writing!

  3. There's not much you can say to people like that. If you try to trump them, they will just come back with something they feel is greater. If you try to argue with them, they will somehow turn the conversation into making you seem like the one who is wrong. I really think that deep down, the person most satisfied with their life is the one who doesn't have to gloat about the things they have accomplished. They are happy with their lives, and they don't need outside "confirmation" to fulfill their ego.

    ~ Kristi

  4. I am sorry you had to sit through that. Sounds like you were a sport about it though. There really isn't much you can say to people like that sometimes.

  5. thanks for your comment :D
    hope you've been well

    i'm the only one in the offices, so noone is doing my job &/or something even similar, so there's no favourtism at my work :)
    but a family friend is getting paid more than me & i do more work than she does lol



  6. Some people need to behave that way - either accept it, either stop seeing them, it seems.
    But hey, friends... we all need some, even unperfect...

  7. that's very uncomfortable situation to be in...so sorry to hear about it. I don't think I can stand that long... you're very polite:)

  8. Hi my friend, some people do tend to treat other people bad so they can feel tall. We all know the truth so there is comfort in that. =)

    I am doing okay, been busy with work. Thank you for asking about me. Take care and God bless.

  9. Hi Zunnur,
    Thank you for stopping by my blog and commenting. This conversation you had with a past "friend" is one that I think many of us have experienced. It sounds as though he is looking for affirmation, seeking value through his accomplishments instead of in his relationships. GOOD FOR YOU for holding on to your sense of worth, and not getting into a conversation where you would not be affirmed in any meaningful way. I feel sorry for this friend who is most certainly lonely and empty - even though he tries to cover it with boasting.
    You are a very good writer, Zunnur. I have enjoyed reading your posts, and will come back to visit again.

  10. You are a much nicer person than I am, obviously! I can't handle when people do that whole, "Listen to how awesome I am and let me tell you why I am so great" speech. It's a waste and in this case-- a waste of a lunch hour! Man!
    If you had a sandwich, you should've shoved it in their face and walked away. :-)

    Keep up the great writing!

  11. i hope you didn't suffer indigestion, hehe.

    did you somehow compete (or pitted) against each other when you were much younger?

    if yes, then perhaps he had not grown out of your competition back then.

  12. Hi Zunnur,

    It's been a while, :-). Hope all is well.

    This is indeed very insightful. For sure, you gained a lot- because you were able to make sense of something that is out of your control and you had the compassion to understand. It might not have been a happy moment for you, but for sure the lesson you gained made you a better person...

    Keep it up Zunnur, and blessings to you, :-)

  13. Hi Zunnur,Hope you are well :).
    “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”. Put it down to lesson gained.


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